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Dear Life, give me a break.

These past few months have been trying. Let's see, shall we?

-I was so excited for school to start this semester because I was transferring to Colorado Christian University. A week in, and I have to drop out, I was seriously crushed. Every time I drive by that street I just look at the school and sigh.

-That same weekend that I moved back home, turns out my dad was seriously ill and that we were losing him. I actually thought we were going to lose him for a while, I've never had to picture attending a parents funeral before I've graduated, before I'm married, before he's had the chance to be a grandpa. I hated that weekend.

-What classes I got into at the last minute when I rushed to Red Rocks Community College, I've been failing. I just haven't had the discipline to actually do my work. Classes end this week, thank God, I can't wait to start over next semester.

-I'm on the verge of getting fired at Chik-Fil-A. The managers there are awesome and I've been doing such a bad job. Arriving late a bunch of times, and I accidentally missed a shift yesterday. One of the managers told me that if I was late one more time I'd be fired, so when I slept right through my alarm and woke up at 11:20 (My shift started at 11), I was so scared to even call because I had remebered that manager's warning. Also, I assumed that if I called anyway to say that I'd be there by at 11:45, I'd be fired for being late. It became a huge mess yesterday, two different managers called during the day and left messages because I didn't want to answer, they were asking if I was alright and wondering what had happened. I finally got a call from the main manager and I talked him. Explained the whole stupid situation to him and for some reason, I started crying on the phone while I was talking to him. He said I have one last chance but that my hours are going to be cut due to this situation, and he told me that if I didn't want to work there that was fine but I should have the respect to give them notice. I only work 8 hours this week. I'm actually going to start looking for a new job, I'm looking to get back into being a server, money was way better. As much as I love Chik-Fil-A, money hasn't been great at all. I've been making half of what I used to and working almost twice as hard.

-On the worship team, we've lost our bass player and 2nd pianist. The bass player I don't have any remorse for, he's stood us up during two times that we played outside of church and the last straw was that we played in a concert and he didn't show up, that was his 3rd time. He came to the rehearsal and everything and the day came and he was nowhere to be seen. He wouldn't answer his phone at all either. It was half an hour before we were supposed to go on and still no sign when it hit me that he wasn't coming. It was frustrating but we played anyway and had a great time. The 2nd pianist I do feel bad about, I've been a lot harder on him than on other members of the group but it's been because he's really lazy, he's disrespectful, he's immature, he's irresponsible, and there's been more bad than good from him during his short time with us. And I'm describing an adult, a married adult with a kid. It sounds like I'm describing one of the teens on our team but they've actually been my strongest ones. My brother's on the drums (17) and our friend on lead piano (16) and they've really stuck in there. I'm proud of both of them. The reason I feel bad is because there were a few times that he was actually nice, and outside of the worship team, he wasn't a bad person. After thinking about it though, I did make some mistakes in how I treated him but I don't feel like it's such a bad thing thats he's leaving. Like I said, the cons outweighed the pros.

I need God, I need prayer, I feel like I've broken down because of everything but I have to pick myself back up, I know with God's help that I can. Goshdarn it, I'm going to go listen to happy music and buy myself a chalupa from taco bell, even though it's FREEZING outside, later!

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