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Felt like writing.


Wow, I haven't written here in such a long time. What have I been up to? Well..

I took the semester off, my classes in the spring were suffering because I wasn't trying, I didn't have the motivation. I remember talking to an advisor at school and she told me that it sounded like I was depressed, and I guess I was. Anyway, summer came, I passed my classes with average grades, and I was so burned out with school that I didn't care about financial aid or the new semester and I figured taking the semester off wouldn't hurt. I actually miss school now lol. I've already applied for financial aid and I'm going to be going to a school in downtown denver. I'm actually looking forward to it :). I'm also glad not to be going to community college. I loved it while I needed it but it didn't help going back there after Colorado Christian University didn't work out.

What else has happened? I'm in a serious relationship, and man, that'll keep you busy! Met/started dating in February, got into a relationship shortly thereafter, things got serious but we went through a painful break up in early July (and tried the dreadful 'friends' things but it just made everything worse), then got back together in early September and we are still going. Love is awesome and it changes everything.

I went to Guatemala over the summer, it was amazing! I met so much of my family, I saw new places, had new experiences, and I truly loved it. Would love to visit again. The faces of my family there are imprinted into my heart.

Still at chik-fil-a, been there almost a year and a half now.

Worship team has been awesome, of course we've had our bumps but everything works out when we listen to God about how to resolve things.

You know, visiting Guatemala this year, being in a relationship, meeting new people here and there has just made me learn about myself this year. At one point this year I felt so far from God and was so broken and weighed down that I honestly considered maybe leaving everything behind, I never thought I'd be there. Being at the point where I wasn't walking forward anymore but struggling to crawl forward, I wondered whether it was worth it to keep going, to do God's will, to keep my faith. It was so incredible because God is the one who's given me true happiness, reason, peace, love, salvation, and life, and I just didn't know how to keep going despite all of that. Of course God took care of me, as he still does and always will. After all, the bible says "Come to me all ye who are weary and labored, and I will give you rest", it's those close moments where I think Satan rejoices and thinks he's won, that he got you to turn your back on God for good. But my God is so powerful and so loving that He would never give up on me or turn his back on me. How then, could I leave Him? If He is the one who gave me reason for living, who gave me everything that is good. Also, had I reconsidered my faith and decided to leave, where would I go? God didn't rescue me from anything good. What would I go back to? If there is an emptiness inside me that only He can fill, with all His majesty, love, and immensity, where would I fill that space? It is impossible to live without God and be happy.

Well, I'm gonna go read. I'm currently reading Wicked, and it's good stuff! Later :).

Comments

( 2 Burned out bright. — Shine with me. )
mountainheather
Dec. 11th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
Good to see a post from you! Glad to hear things seem to be going well. I <3 that you're still at Chick-fil-a. We don't have nearly enough up in New England. Guatamala, wow! Sounds awesome. I haven't been around on here much either. At least, not posting. :( Take care! :)
orange_juice18
Dec. 11th, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
Thanks!

I love chik fil a food, I seriously eat there on some of my days off.

Guatemala was awesome, it was my first time out of the country.

Yeah, I hadn't logged on here in forever, but thats just the way it goes sometimes! :)
( 2 Burned out bright. — Shine with me. )

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